Sarcastic Engagement Wishes for Cousin
So, your cousin is tying the knot. Again, for the first time, or maybe just... knotting something. If 'happily ever after' sounds suspiciously like a trap, and 'congratulations' feels a little too sincere for your tastes, then you've come to the right place. Dive into these perfectly snarky engagement wishes for your favorite (or least favorite) cousin.
Well, look at you, finally giving up on the dream of being alone forever. Congrats, I guess?
Here's to a lifetime of compromising on TV shows and arguing about who left the toilet seat up. Sounds like pure bliss!
Turn this into a beautiful card for Cousin
Send a private link they'll actually want to open — not just a text. Free, no account needed.
I always knew you'd find someone patient enough to put up with you. My condolences to your fiancé(e).
Another one bites the dust! Just kidding... mostly. Seriously though, good luck with the 'till death do us part' bit.
I hope your engagement period is long enough for you to fully appreciate what you're getting yourselves into. Enjoy the 'honeymoon phase' while it lasts.
None of these feel quite right?
Add a personal detail — a memory, a name — and get something made just for your Cousin.
You found someone who loves you despite knowing you. That's true love, or perhaps just a serious lack of judgment on their part. Either way, congrats!
My sincerest wishes for a wedding that isn't too awkward and a marriage that doesn't end in a dramatic reality show episode. Dream big!
Remember when we said we'd never grow up? Well, one of us clearly caved. Enjoy your adulting, I'll be over here with my freedom.
Cheers to no longer having to pretend you enjoy dating. May your new status bring you endless... responsibilities.
Common questions
Is it okay to be sarcastic about an engagement?‹
Absolutely! As long as you know your audience (i.e., your cousin has a sense of humor, unlike some people we know). It's a rite of passage, really, like hazing but with more passive aggression.
What if my cousin doesn't 'get' my sarcasm?‹
Then you've successfully identified a flaw in their character. Perhaps this engagement is a sign they need more exposure to the finer things in life, like biting wit. Just blame it on 'love language difference.'
Can I use these for other family members?‹
Only if you're prepared for the potential fallout at Thanksgiving dinner. While your cousin might expect your unique brand of affection, your aunt Mildred might just think you're unhinged. Proceed with caution, and perhaps a strong drink.