Savage / Roast New Job Wishes for Colleague
So, your colleague is finally ditching you for greener pastures, huh? Instead of shedding tears, send them off with the only thing they truly deserve: a hilariously brutal roast! Get ready to make their farewell unforgettable (and slightly awkward).
Congratulations on your new job! We're all secretly thrilled you found a new place to underperform. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, because we're locking it.
Good luck with the new gig! We just hope they have a better budget for therapy once they realize what they've signed up for.
Turn this into a beautiful card for Colleague
Send a private link they'll actually want to open — not just a text. Free, no account needed.
So, you're finally leaving. I guess someone at your new company hasn't done their due diligence yet. Enjoy the brief period of not being our problem!
We're not saying we'll miss you, but we *are* saying the office coffee machine might actually work now. Best of luck... you'll need it.
Here's to your new beginning! May your new colleagues be as easily fooled as we were, and may your lunch breaks remain delightfully lengthy.
None of these feel quite right?
Add a personal detail — a memory, a name — and get something made just for your Colleague.
Honestly, we're just impressed you managed to land another job. Don't worry, we won't tell them about your 'extended bathroom breaks' and 'mysterious printer jams'.
Wishing you all the best in your new role! Just a heads-up: word travels fast. Maybe try to hide your incompetence for at least the first month this time.
Congratulations! We're all looking forward to seeing how quickly you can turn a perfectly functional department into absolute chaos somewhere else. You're a true pioneer of pandemonium.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. In your case, absence just makes our workload significantly lighter. Enjoy the new challenge... we certainly will!
Cheers to new horizons! We'll cherish the memories, mostly of all the times we had to fix your mistakes. May your new team be as forgiving (and skilled) as we were.
Common questions
How can I deliver a 'savage' wish without actually causing offense?‹
The key is knowing your audience! These wishes work best with colleagues who share a close rapport and a similar, often dark, sense of humor. Deliver them with a smile, a playful tone, and perhaps a genuine, softer sentiment immediately after to ensure they know it's all in good fun. Context and delivery are everything!
When is the best time or setting to use these roast-style wishes?‹
These are perfect for informal farewells, happy hour gatherings, or a team lunch where the atmosphere is relaxed and jovial. Avoid using them in formal settings, company-wide emails, or in front of senior management who might not appreciate the humor. Keep it among close team members who get the joke.
What if my colleague isn't known for their sense of humor or might take offense?‹
If there's any doubt about your colleague's ability to take a joke, it's always best to err on the side of caution and choose a more traditional, heartfelt message. The goal is to celebrate their departure with laughter, not to genuinely upset them. You can still be witty and fun without being overtly 'savage'.