Savage / Roast New Job Wishes for Dad
Your dad finally landed that new job, and while you're *thrilled* for him, you know a simple 'congrats' just won't cut it. It's time to celebrate with the kind of brutal honesty only a loving child can deliver. Get ready to roast him into his new role with these hilariously savage wishes!
Congrats on the new gig, Dad! Hope they finally pay you enough to stop 'borrowing' money from my college fund... again.
So, you got a new job? Guess this means I can finally stop pretending to be interested in your old, boring one. Good luck trying not to mess this up too quickly!
Turn this into a beautiful card for Dad
Send a private link they'll actually want to open — not just a text. Free, no account needed.
Heard about the new job, Dad. Just try not to break anything important this time – especially the coffee machine. We both know how that ended last time.
Wow, a new job! Is this the one where you actually have to show up on time, or is it another 'flexible' arrangement you'll blame on traffic?
Best of luck with the new responsibilities, Dad. I'm just impressed they found someone willing to pay you to do... whatever it is you do.
None of these feel quite right?
Add a personal detail — a memory, a name — and get something made just for your Dad.
Congrats on upgrading, Dad! Now maybe you can finally afford to fix that leaky faucet you've been 'getting to' for the last five years.
A new job, eh? Does this mean you'll finally be too busy to call me for tech support every five minutes? One can only hope.
They say a change is as good as a rest. In your case, Dad, I'm just relieved it's a change of scenery for your co-workers. Good luck, you'll need it!
Thrilled to hear about the new job, Dad! Just remember, 'work ethic' is a concept, not just a suggestion. Don't worry, you'll figure it out... eventually.
Congratulations on the new position, Dad! I'm sure your new boss will be just as confused by your 'unique' management style as we are. Just kidding... mostly.
Common questions
How do I ensure my roast doesn't go too far?‹
The key to a good roast is knowing your audience – in this case, your dad! Keep it light-hearted, avoid genuinely sensitive topics, and always follow up with a sincere congratulations. The humor should come from a place of love, not malice.
Can I use these for other family members?‹
Absolutely! While tailored for Dad, many of these savage wishes can be adapted for other family members or close friends with a similar sense of humor. Just be sure to adjust any specific details to fit the individual and their new role.
What's the best way to deliver a savage wish?‹
Delivery is everything! A savage wish is best delivered with a wink, a smile, or a playful tone. Consider writing it in a card, sending it as a text with a laughing emoji, or even saying it aloud with a hearty pat on the back. The goal is laughter, not offense.