Congrats on the promotion, sis! Guess they finally realized you needed more responsibilities to keep you out of trouble. Don't disappoint us (again).
Wow, a promotion! Who knew 'showing up on time' was considered a professional skill? Seriously though, proud of you... I guess.
Turn this into a beautiful card for Sister
Send a private link they'll actually want to open — not just a text. Free, no account needed.
They gave *you* more power? The world is truly doomed. Just kidding (mostly). Congrats, little tyrant!
So, they finally promoted you. Does this mean I can start asking for bigger loans? Kidding! (Not really). Congrats, sis!
I heard about your promotion. Pretty sure it's just so they can pay you more to do the same amount of work. Smart move, I'll take notes. Congrats!
None of these feel quite right?
Add a personal detail — a memory, a name — and get something made just for your Sister.
A promotion? Impressive. Did you finally learn how to use the coffee machine without supervision, or was there actual merit involved? Either way, bravo.
Congratulations on climbing the corporate ladder! Just don't forget us little people when you're ordering your lackeys around. And by 'us,' I mean 'me and mom.'
They promoted you? My condolences to your new subordinates. Seriously though, huge congrats! Try not to break anything important.
Another promotion? At this rate, you'll be running the company before you even figure out how to fold laundry. Good job, I guess.
To my dearest sister, on your promotion: They clearly haven't met the real you yet. But hey, milk it for all it's worth! Super proud... and a little terrified.
Common questions
How do I deliver a savage wish without actually offending my sister?‹
The key is knowing your sister's sense of humor. Pair your roast with a genuine smile, a hug, or a follow-up 'just kidding, I'm super proud of you!' The intent should always be loving teasing, not genuine malice. You know where the line is!
What if my sister isn't used to savage humor?‹
If she's not typically one for playful jabs, you might want to dial back the 'savage' a notch or two. Opt for more lighthearted teasing rather than full-on roasts. Or, save these for a card and deliver a more sincere verbal congratulations.
Can I combine a savage wish with a sincere one?‹
Absolutely! In fact, it's often the best approach. Start with your hilarious roast, then immediately pivot to a genuine compliment about her hard work, talent, or dedication. This shows you can be funny *and* truly proud of her accomplishment.