Congratulations! I always knew you'd find someone... naive enough to say 'yes.' Lucky him!
Remember all those times you swore you'd never settle down? Well, look at you now. The universe has a twisted sense of humor, doesn't it?
Turn this into a beautiful card for Girlfriend
Send a private link they'll actually want to open — not just a text. Free, no account needed.
Wishing you a lifetime of 'yes, dear' and pretending not to hear 'honey, where's my wallet?' May your patience be as endless as his dirty laundry.
They say marriage is about compromise. So glad you found someone willing to compromise on their sanity. Best of luck!
From Miss Independent to Mrs. Indebted... just kidding! (Mostly). May your joint bank account never see the light of day.
None of these feel quite right?
Add a personal detail — a memory, a name — and get something made just for your Girlfriend.
So, you're finally trading freedom for a lifetime subscription to 'What's for dinner?' Congrats on upgrading your responsibilities!
I always wondered who would be brave enough to marry you. Turns out, it only took one very special (and clearly delusional) man. Bravo!
May your wedding night be filled with less snoring than your regular nights. Or at least, may his snoring be less annoying.
It's not every day you get to see a beautiful, strong woman voluntarily give up her right to the last slice of pizza. A true sacrifice, congratulations!
They say love is blind. In your case, it seems it also comes with a serious lack of hearing for all the red flags. Just kidding! (Or am I?)
Common questions
Is it okay to use savage wishes at a wedding?‹
Only if you know the bride *really* well and she has an excellent sense of humor. These wishes are best for close friends who appreciate a good roast, not for formal settings or easily offended relatives. Always read the room!
How can I make sure my roast doesn't go too far?‹
The key is to keep it light-hearted and always end with genuine warmth. Avoid anything truly offensive, deeply personal secrets, or criticisms that could genuinely upset her or her partner. It's a roast, not a burn!
Should I deliver these wishes in person or in a card?‹
A card is often a safer bet, as it allows the bride to react privately. If delivering in person, keep it brief, gauge her reaction, and have a genuinely sweet message ready to follow up with, just in case. Laughter is the goal, not awkward silence!